Happiness vs. Ego

The sun was shining again this morning. That´s two days in a row.

What old lady did I help across the street to earn that kind of luck?

With the thought of a pleasant run (as opposed to a run that leaves me looking like a drowned rat), I was extra motivated to get out of bed. By 6:30 I was at Rebecca´s house and we were ready to hit my favorite trail.

Four-ish miles later, my legs weren´t exactly loving me, but I certainly felt accomplished. Plus, breakfast always seems a little better after working out.

Today´s reward of choice was oats ‘n’ sauce.

I smothered my plain-cooked oats with applesauce, a dollop of PB and a sprinkling of dried-fruit muesli. I think that letting the oats cool a bit before adding the chilled applesauce makes it extra refreshing.

While sipping on my complementing cup of coffee, I tried to work on a homework assignment for my film class. I say “tried,” because I truly wanted to find the motivation to get it done. But, despite myself, I kept getting frustrated.

Usually, I´m a pretty big fan of school. I look forward to each class as an opportunity to learn something new and helpful. I even accept the title of “nerd” and pretend it isn´t a bad thing

However, for as easily as the English language seems to come to me, I have always struggled with German.

Sure, being in Germany has done much more for me than five years in American classrooms ever did. Still, I am put to shame by many of my near-fluent classmates.

For the first time in a while, I feel really academically intimidated. I’m surrounded by a bunch of mathematicians, engineers and politicians (why is it that science-minded people always seem better with languages?).

By comparison, journalism just sounds (quote, unquote) “easy.”

Of course I know that is not the case. Journalism challenges my people-skills, my writing abilities, my critical thinking, etc.

But all that work goes on behind the scenes. Then all I have to show for my efforts is a 30-second TV spot or 500-word article. That just seems so simple…

Sometimes these thoughts and my ego get to me.

I would say that I blame my parents for failing to pass on any science or math savvy. I would also say that maybe I could suck it up and actually commit myself to German, chemistry or aeronautical engineering.

Then I realize that the title of my job isn´t going to matter at the end of the day. What does matter is doing something I love… and I know I am more happy, fulfilled and enthusiastic about writing than I could ever be about math or physics.

Besides, if I did everything just because it looks “cool,” then I’d never end up doing things like this…

Whew, enough of that. Now, I’m on to a whirlwind of classes, a movie and a field trip to a local brewery.

Yeah, my life is really tough.

Question: What was your main consideration in choosing what to study?


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