Survival mechanism

It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, folks. In no place is this more true than the rough and tumble town of Lawrence, Kansas.*

That’s why, during my few years in Larry Town, I’ve developed a few survival mechanisms to protect me against the inherent violence.

Survival Mechanism #1: It is essential to have a fueling breakfast. This will help you evade any predators with lightning fast speed.

Consumed: 1/3 C oats and 1 grated carrot cooked with 2/3 C water, mixed with a little maple syrup and almond butter. Topped with a few white chocolate chips and crunchy dark chocolate granola.

Survival Mechanism #2: Dress for success — or at least dress so that you can fend off ninjas.

This outfit was primarily designed so that I could walk to my running class and then change into my running shoes, which are much easier to carry than a pair of boots. Secondarily, this outfit helped me scare off people.

Survival Mechanism #3: It is also important to load up on vitamins and nutrients. For my marathon class, we did a two-mile tempo run — Seriously two of the most difficult miles ever.

Afterward, I knew I needed to restore my body’s store of nutrients. Who’s to say when I’d have to run away from someone again?

I did this by having an orange, but I will allow Dan and his whole jug of orange juice to demonstrate the point…

Survival Mechanism #4: If you are just too slow, find a faster method of transportation. Sure, I’m a decent runner, but I can’t always depend on my legs to get me away from faster assailants. That’s why (among other reasons) I’ve been really dying to get a new hybrid-style bicycle.

It’s also really light, so I can lift it up and throw it at people…

Dan actually got the men’s version of the same bike last week. I knew that my ol’ mountain bike and I could never keep up with him, so I knew it was necessary to get my own. I don’t like people being faster than me, because you don’t have to be faster than an attacking bear, you just have to be faster than the other people the bear is chasing — Did I mention that Lawrence also has a bear problem?

Survival Mechanism #5: Always be sure to have extra food, in the case of a natural disaster that strands you in your home for weeks at a time. My personal stockpile was running a little low, so I was really happy to get a big package of Vitatop muffins and brownies!

Those will last me for at least three days!

Survival Mechanism #6: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Evidently I do this very often — That is if Dan was my enemy, which he totally isn’t. I actually love him. But, for the sake of a point, can you just play along?

It also helped that we got to get Chipotle.

Consumed: Vegetarian burrito salad + More chips and guac.

Survival Mechanism #7: Never give away too many of your secrets. I think I’ve already said too much…

*Lawrence is actually a very wonderful town with a low crime rate. Feel free to visit whenever you like!

Question: What are your survival mechanisms?

9 responses to “Survival mechanism

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